My ideals for Quarantine 4/2020

My ideals for Quarantine 4/2020

Like so many other times in my life, I had great and momentous plans for this Covid-19 shelter-in-place order. It happens, often, that if we are evacuating because of a hurricane, I will gather several “projects” to take up my time as we await the storm’s passage. Also, inevitably, the tasks are forsaken, in favor of my worrying about all the noise, worrying about my loved ones and awaiting the dark panels to be removed to reveal blessed light.

  I had planned to emerge from this time of confinement, appearing just as a butterfly emerges from a cocoon with resplendent wings, trailing behind me.

A new “lithe” creature would emerge, (no longer the round munching caterpillar). People would no longer wonder which was my head and which was my tail. I would have all of the wisdom of the Hermit (in the Tarot deck) with the erudite reserve of the High Priestess (again, Tarot).

My complexion would be dewy and colored with better habits and new resolved.

 Most of that is not happening (at least not for me).

Although I have been working on them, my two primary projects are not completed. Why?

I’m sure it’s distraction. The same reason it was not completed before confinement.

 I have (believe it or not) lost a small amount of weight.

Why?

Because of dental issues which forced upon me a root canal and excruciating TMJ.

So I don’t look lithe. I’m puffy from all of the medications to treat the issues.

Better skin care (to the cellular level) has not occurred;

My skin is not dewy with renewal.

Why?

Because, between the anxiety and the physical pain, I run out of energy to attend to the more cosmetic aspects of my person.

I had plans to learn Zoom and embark on conducting meetings for Tarot and other things.

Oddly enough, Walt has been successful at embarking on that…but not me.

I find myself purchasing new wardrobe items,

and then telling myself “you are not living in the NOW, Kim”

Like my grandmother, I find myself mopping the floor, like an intern in a typhus unit,

Like somehow THAT will help. –On a side note, my grandmother once had a new floor installed in her home, and 3 months later (because the floor was still under warranty) the company installed a new floor because my grandmother cleaned the finish off the floor by mopping it every day-true story).

I bake and bake…mostly bread.

It’s as if my passion has suddenly come into fashion.

The people who told me they don’t eat bread are now asking me for advice on purchasing

 A bread-maker and recipes and yeast proofing procedures.

In all, some things haven’t changed for me.

My day still begins with communion and prayer and ends with gratitude and thanksgiving.

While many people are re-acquainting themselves with the serenity prayer:

Prayer for Serenity

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardship as a pathway to peace;
taking, as Jesus did,
this sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it;
trusting that You will make all things right
if I surrender to Your will;
so that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

                                            Reinhold Niebuhr

I am remembering another prayer offered so long ago.

God, thank you for the things you’ve given (to me).

Thank you for the things you’ve taken away (from me)

But mostly, thank you for the things you’ve left (for me).

Until next time,

May God Bless.

-Kim