The Ryan
Rescue Mission- Part 5 (it gets deep).
After
finding Ryan home, Tammy and I got in the car, in fearful hopes that we could
find the funeral home.
On the way
we found a huge intersection -unmarked, where we were supposed to have turned
(the Garmin, again failed us) and after traveling nearly two miles passed, we
pulled over and Tammy stopped a man in a truck with a bunch of "egg
boxes" in his font seat.
He confirmed
that we had missed our turn.
Then Ryan's
brother contacted us and was the voice "calling in the wilderness"
helping us to find the Funeral home.
When we
arrived, there was Ryan's brother and a husky man named "Shep" to
greet us.
Later, I
will have developed a fondness for Shep.
Both Ryan's
brother and Shep helped to care for Ryan's mother in her declining time.
Walking into
the funeral home, I prepared myself for the fateful meeting with Janice (the
demon Harpy).
As we were
walking into the office of the funeral home, I saw the woman who managed the
funeral home. She was a pleasant (maybe a bit TOO perky for funeral
arrangements) southern woman.
Also, there
was Janice. Immediately I thought "Wow, well Ryan has a "type"
that he likes."
Janice was
sitting with a crochet'd lap cover and few other things in her hand.
She was a
round woman with long hair, pulled back. I sat next to her (as Tammy occupied
the chair across from her. A tactic Tammy said she employed on purpose, and
learned from business negotiation).
Something
then happened that I can only describe as manipulative. Well, actually, what
happened next was a barrage of "stories" about escalating funeral
costs and how difficult it was to find a funeral home that was sympathetic to their
plight. Apparently, one funeral director even suggested a buffet at the funeral
home. At this point, I (like others in the room) had visions of both
"appropriate" and "inappropriate" dishes, actually
surrounding the casket.
You know,
like "death by chocolate brownies" beside grilled shrimps on grits
toast.
After that, it was explained to "us"
(Tammy) that the funeral director had agreed to move forward with the funeral
services, if the "group" could gather enough for half the total
expenses. Then it was explained to us (Tammy) that they needed some aught of
$140 to meet that goal.
At this point, I will digress to talk more
about my friend Tammy. Understanding someone's motivations, I find, is integral
to my communication with them. The same is true of my relationship with Tammy.
Tammy's
primary motivation in life is family.
She will do (and has done) anything and everything one can think of, in support
of her children, her parents and her sister and brother.
A prime
example of this, is each and every Thanksgiving I can remember, we've wanted to
do something together. She's complained about having to cook for the entire
family. Each and every Thanksgiving, she is "talked into" cooking for
the entire family (a wholly ungrateful lot, if you ask me) and then is
abandoned to clean up and nurse her exhaustion alone.
Likewise, if
she sees someone ELSE'S family in peril,
she will do whatever she deems necessary to help.
Such was the
case when she was told of the $140 needed to meet the goal of Mama 'Nell's
funeral. Four sets of eyes boring into
her, nearly willing her to say "I'll cover it". Bare in mind, that the last time Tammy spoke
with this woman, this woman told Tammy that her son didn't want to see Tammy
anymore and it wasn't going to "work out for them".
I watched as
the pin ball rivets locked into place in Tammy's mind and she said "I have
to go to my car to get the money".
I was tempted to go with her, but she didn't seem to want the company.
After about
ten minutes of Gene and Shep talking about what all they've done for Mama
'nell, and how taxing it had been to take care of her, in the final months,
(and Janice offering how she had been the driving force in getting the
"funeral done" because none of the "boys" could seem to
"get her burried") Tammy returned. She gave (as is typical for her)
just a tad over the requested amount. She was thanked.
As we were
leaving (with Janice nearly pushing us BOTH out the doors of the funeral home)
Gene and Shep asked us to go out to lunch with them.
So we did. A
nice homestyle restaurant, in which we listened to what a great cook Mama 'Nell
was. How they did (most of) the caring for her during her confinement. We
swapped stories and Tammy and I left with an (inappropriate) good feeling about
our interaction. Feeling somehow like we weren't alone in this barren (and yet
to be hostile) land.
How wrong
could we possibly be?
