Monday, June 1, 2015

TRAIN WRECK

Train Wreck

Hi. In serious contrast to the glowing, happy and funny  blogs I (usually) offer,  I'm talking about things that are going on in my life with a dry and gritty and critical eye.
 First let me say, I'm grateful for the healing that has occurred and continues to transform my life.
Stating the positive things first: Since my diagnosis of diabetes in 1997, I've lost 45 pounds, and seem to be still losing weight.
I've lost 1.7 points on my A1C (going down). So that's good.
Now, for the "negative" things.
I'm seeing an acupuncturist for this semi-consistent headache and stress. Taking Chinese herbs that would make a buzzard barf and trying to stay on this diet that helps build "fire" in your gut. 
Certainly not doing as well on that as I would like.
In the last three months, I had started working with a "trio" at church, and started (actually) playing my guitar and singing and (trying) to participate in the music program at church.
We (I) chose a song , specifically for Pentecost Sunday.
We were "placed" in the service on the week that was actually Pentecost Sunday. There were a number of other events that occurred that Sunday.  The message was "there's room for EVERYONE's giftedness in our congregation: No one has to sit on the bench."
This passt Sunday, was apparently the "real" celebration for Pentecost .
 A huge, red celebration. Lots of music, an amazing production.
Conspicuous by their "absence" in this lavish Holy Spirit Production? Kim & Walt.
Unhappily, in it's consistency, is the fact that this is not the first time Kim & Walt have simply been "left out" of thoughts involving productions: Laity Sunday Day, etc.
Also unchanging, is , when stressors, particularly with issues involving the church, Walt and I end up fighting with one another most of the day. Partly because we're the people nearest to each other.
 Partly because he's trying too hard to help me feel better.
On the "good " side of the Tally, we were able to help dear friends of ours celebrate his 80th birthday. He's vital, and glimmering and she is amazing and lyrical.
It was an afternoon full of magical moments.
On the negative side of the tally, I'm grieving voluminously over a "friend" who has left my life. A person whom I've blogged about. A person who wrote me (us) off because we didn't do what she wanted us to do for her at Christmas time. Someone who took up profound amounts of time, energy and resources  from my relationship with Walt. Someone who planted seeds of dissention and poison in my faith and relationship. I should feel relieved she's gone.  Mostly, I feel  empty and used.
To top all things off, for months, most times when I've seen my Pastor, she comments that I look tired.
I've used every concealer to which I can lay my hand. The dark circles under my eyes seem to be getting worse, rather than better. A dear friend, whom I know has had the worst three months in her medical history, broken leg, another broken bone and facing another surgical procedure, is telling me about my "dark circles." So not only to I feel bad.  I look bad.
Not exactly the trials of Job.
Not the worst.
Not the best.
Until next time,
Good Night and Good Luck.

-Kim

Monday, April 27, 2015

You Call yourself a Christian?


Today, I saw this post on Facebook, on someone's page that I consider a friendly acquaintance.
This was my response:
·         Kim Danbert Hmm I don't think judging "Christians" on the actions of some is any more laudible than judging any other belief systems by the imperfect people who support it. There are many (and many) Christians who are not "snobs" and do awesome charitable works with little or no acknowledgement. As, I'm sure, there are jewish people, sikh people Buddists. I find this type of Christian bashing as disdainful as I do any sweeping generalization of any other belief system. Inaccurate and unfair.
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XXXXX: Of course, this does not go for everyone. Personally I have never been baptized into any religion. I try to stay out of the religious conversations. Although, we have a close personal friend who is going through a unique situation which would fall perf...See More
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xxxxx: I will agree xxxxx, there are so many Christians that feel better than others and judge and condemn them.. All we are taught by Jesus is to love and be loved and teach the good word.  I try to stick with that!! Nature sometimes takes over and we fall back to old ways, but what I always refer back to, is "who cast the first the first stone" everybody has problems I don't care what religion you are, but the better thing for everyone is to find the good! Not the bad  

I don't know why people feel so empowered to tell someone where their spending eternity, nobody knows that except God.
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Kim Danbert My issues, here is the sweeping generalization about a group of people who espouse a belief. How would you react if the ecard had said "Hey Jews, get your noses out of your legers, and spread some of the wealth!". Categorizing "most Christians" as hypocrites or judging is as bad as characterizing any other body of faith.

Well, I'm sure the debate goes on without my participation further. But, I did as the Ecard suggested.
Disclaimer here: I would never characterize Jesus Christ, the man, whom I believe, laid down his life for the sins of all mankind, as a "snob".
I did exactly as the ecard suggested. I got out my Bible and checked it out. You know what. In His earthly ministry, Jesus Christ did more than his share of judging people's motives, rebuking people's actions and criticizing people's mindsets.
Beginning with his own mother.
John 2:1-4
On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ motherwas there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no more wine.”
“Woman,[a] why do you involve me?” Jesus replied. “My hour has not yet come.”
So here, I think Jesus, the Son of God, product of divine birth, is reproving his own mother for her impatience.


He scolded for not having "Godly enough" motivations among his disciples:
But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. “Get behind me, Satan!” he said. “You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”

He criticised the motivations of some people praying in the temple:
[ Prayer ] “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.

Although, most people during His time and now, seemed to be in one accord on this one, He criticized the Pharisees:
 Matthew 15:7-9
 You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you:
“‘These people honor me with their lips,
    but their hearts are far from me.
They worship me in vain;
    their teachings are merely human rules.’[c

He rebuked a group of towns people intent on violence toward a woman caught in adultery:



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Later Jesus appeared to the Eleven as they were eating; he rebuked them for their lack of faith and their stubborn refusal to believe those who had seen him after he had risen

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger.When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

He scolded some of His OWN believers for being hypocrites:
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

He even curses a poor (struggling) fig tree:
Matthew 21:18-19
Early in the morning, as Jesus was on his way back to the city, he was hungry. 19 Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, “May you never bear fruit again!”Immediately the tree withered.

So, (like the comedy Central series, South Park) we can gather that nothing is too low (a fig tree), too dear (Mom) or too high (Pharisees) for Him to rebuke, reprove correct, curse or criticize.

Do I think this gives us, as his followers the right to do the same?
No. Jesus was the only begotten son of God. I think it's safe to say he may have known some things that we did not.

However, I am also a student of history. History tells me that when a specific group of people begin to be identified with specific descriptive, bullying and chaos are not far behind.
Too often I have heard and read the phrase "Christians are hypocrites", almost so casual and flip as to be cliche'.
Why be so Christian-centric about it. Most people have hypocritical moments in their lives. We're ALL sinners, no matter how hard we try not to be.
Maybe it's the violence with the ISIS organization against Christians, that makes me think in parallels.
I recall a testimony by a German gentleman who was Jewish, who was a young boy when the Nazi regime began occupation.
He told a story of being on a bus, and a man he had known in his town was sitting on a bus, when the young man boarded. This one day, the man started calling out in a loud voice, as the boy sat behind him "I smell GARLIC...Oh the stench!" (the boy was Jewish). This went on for nearly a week. Until, at last, the boy stopped riding the bus because he couldn't stand the round of chanting "Jews stink".  Then, the man remembered all the "stinking Jews" boarding a train to Auswitchz.
So maybe you do know some people who are Christians who are hypocrites. Being human beings (and we ARE human beings) , we are not perfect. We claim forgiveness under the blood of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who sacrificed His life for we,who, invite Him into our souls.

As to the last item on the ecards post, with which I am going to make note. "You call yourself a Christian". First a history lesson:
Followers of Christ did not (originally) call themselves Christians.
1.     


The term 'Christian' was used to describe a follwer of Christ in terms of the world, from the world's point of view. The pagans at Antioch called the apostles "Christians" first (Acts 11:26; 26:28) and used it derogatorily because the apostles didn't follow the commercial world of the pagans.

I do, as it happens, identify myself to people (when asked) as a Christian.
It is a descriptor of my faith and the life-path I follow.
If, I, as a Christian, disappoint you, with my attitudes, my ill temper when I am cut-off in traffic, my lack of generosity to someone you deem worthy;
If I criticize you unfairly, or act with pride, or you feel judged by others who also share the moniker;
If my cross offends you, when you see it and remember another, by whom you were abused, wearing the same sign.
I humbly and completely apologize, for them and for me.
I ask you to understand, that before I accepted Christ, I was (and remain) a wretched human.
And only Christ and death can cure that.

Yours in Christ
Until next time
eat something wonderful
and live a life worth loving.
-Kim












Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Some Strange things I do during Lent 2015


Some of my friends have known that Lent is my very special devotional season.
I have done (and continue to do) some things that many consider "radical" during the Lenten Season.
I'm sharing this, this year, in an invitation to my friends to get radical in their walks with God.
If you can, share them with me, personally or on my facebook page so that I don't feel like John the Baptist (a lone voice in the wildnerness) with my Lenten weirdness.

Lent # 1. The first thing I do, in commemoration of Lent is I color my hair...purple.
This began approxemately 4 years ago. Walt and I had found a new church (well--new for us).           I was still in the throws of grief over my mother and the life I had lost in caring for her full-time.
 There was a program on in which a woman talked about reading in the Bible about a woman cutting off all her hair, in grief. I became determined to wear my grief. But it was Lent. I walked into Sally Beauty and bought a bottle of Rave purple and never looked back.
 It happened that it was also the year that I made my walk to Emmaus, which ocurred during Lent. Consequently, when I attend Emmaus Events in Dunklin, there is a host of people looking for my purple hair.
But other things have happened during my Lenten purple season. As people in the general puplic comment (as they often do) I have the opportunity to testify. "That's a neat color" they might say. "I color it purple for Lent". So often, in people over the age of thirty, there is a "beat" that they take. I can see in their eyes, they're harkening back to a time when Lent was a part of their lives. It is a touching moment for me.
  #2 "If you color your hair purple, what are you giving up?"
    That is an interesting question, but it was not hard for me to answer. I am giving up my "invisibility".  When I was in High School, one of my good friends, Michelle, was a baptist. Her entire family were very active in the church. She was not the secretive about it. Once she was meeting a new neighbor, I was with her. She was talking about her family and added "And we're Christians.". I marveled at the way that tumbled out of her mouth, so easily.
It has not always been so easy for me to profess my belief and love of Jesus. In fact, in my life,
it has been much easier for my faith to remain "invisible", especially in the circles in which I travel.
Then, with my purple hair, the first thing I see in the morning, is...me with purple. I remember, "I do this for Lent". Then I am shopping, the cashier says "Wow that's amazing hair...is that really purple?"....I respond "thank you. I do this for Lent." (if she's in her early 20's she asks) "What is Lent?"..."It's the devotional journey of 40 days preceeding Jesus' crucifixion on Good Friday and ressurection on Easter."....A smile comes across her face as she "remembers" the story. "That's cool".  My hair is the conversation starter for a testimony, I wouldn't otherwise give.

#3 I take out my Lenten Wardrobe. (yes, I actually have a Lenten wardrobe.) If you've known me for any length of time, you know I have clothing that matches most holidays and season. Fall/Halloween (of course) Christmas/Holiday, most recently all reds and pinks for Valentine season. Of course, I have a Lenten wardrobe. It consists mostly of purple clothing with some grey (the ashes) clothing. It wasn't that difficult to gather, as I love purple and have had much purple clothing in my wardrobe though the years.  One of the benefits of this , is I don't have to worry about anything clashing with my hair.

#4 Watch ALL the Jesus, Biblical and Pseudo-Jesus Films and doccumentaries that I can find.
 The History channel , History 2 and Smithsonian Channels are replete with "investigative" and theorizing programs centering around elements of the life of Christ.
Just recently, I watch one titled "The Wife of Jesus" (falls into my "DaVinci Code" category).
 There are specials on Crucifixion (a gruesome and painful study--not for the squeemish)
The Holy Grail (another in the DaVinci code category). I watch ALL doccumentaries on The Shroud of Turin. There is one about the "Face of Jesus" in which a researcher produces a Face of Jesus Christ from the iconography on the Shroud of Turin.
The films put me in a devotional mood and give me perspective on the sacrifice of Christ, I don't seem to get in any other way.
 The non-documentary films I watch each and every Lenten Season are:
1) Jesus of Nazareth Mini Series
2) Jesus Christ Superstar
3) The Passion of the Christ

#5 Bake lots of bread
     Christ said "I am the bread of life". During Lent, my usual bread making process takes on a devotional, even spiritual quality. I seek someone to bless with the bread after baked.

So there are some of my Lenten traditions. There are more and some change from year to year.
I wish you and yours a blessed Lenten season.

Until next time,
Eat something delicious
and live a life worth loving.


-Kim