A Kind word from a long-time friend

A Blog

A Kind word from a long-time friend

Recently, I watched the Netflix Mini-series Self-Made. It is inspired by the life of Madam CJ Walker, a woman who produced the first nationally distributed hair products for women of color. Her products are still produced today.

During this series, (spoiler alert) Ms. Walker has a lapse in judgement where she goes to bed with her ex-husband. Upon morning light, she says to herself

“Never go back to the place that broke you.”

My blog, this time has to do with that theme.

Some of you might know that (at least two years) ago, Walt and I were ousted from our home church of 5 years. During the time in that church, Walt led Bible studies, we both participated in Emmaus events. At one point, I led the prayer ministry.

We baked communion bread for World communion day.

We participated in the puppet ministry.

After the (then) Pastor so effectively made us feel “unwelcome”, Walt and I did not seek another church. We visited a couple of churches. But really haven’t sought another.

When a new Pastor came to our (former ) home church, we received much encouragement to return to our (former) home church. Comments such as “You can come back, Pastor Pam is gone” were routinely spoken to us, when we ran into church members.

After much prayer and consideration, we attended Ash Wednesday service, this year. Then began to follow this pastor’s devotionals. He seemed to be kind and sincere about being “honored” to be the pastor and how God loves us all.

So , Walt and I made an appointment to speak with the new(est) pastor about re-uniting with the church.

After stating (quite blatantly) what I do for a living, the Pastor told us that he wanted to know our “side “ of things. After mentioning a smattering of mis-deeds to which the previous pastor subjected us, the pastor announced that he doesn’t agree with what I do for a living either. He proceeded to tell me that I was “bucking 2000 years of church tradition” . He was confused about what the previous pastor actually did. He told us she had told us about a Psychic-medium that was in the church and that she “got them out” and took it “all the way up the supervisory ladder” to do it. The present pastor began a statement saying “since you had the problem with Pastor Pam”….my ire kicked up, I said “WE had the problem with her…meaning no-one else ever had a problem with her” He chuckled and said “I think we both know that’s not true”.

I was shattered and dismayed to learn that—In the eyes of the church—and it’s representatives, even a pastor who commits illegal acts, is better than a parishioner who doesn’t agree with church policy.

The day after this, Walt and I did what we do every morning. We had communion and prayed together and I was in a recalcitrant mood.

In a supreme moment of enlightenment, I contacted a long-time friend.

She was sympathetic. She was gentle. She was kind.

Despite my anxiety to the contrary, she told me that Walt was very lucky to have me. that I had not forever cleaved him from the body of believers.

She suggested that I try not to confuse faith (belief) with “church politics”.

She suggested some other congregations that we might try (after the confinement is over).

I was met with understanding and grace…something I had hoped to find from a Pastor.

On another note-the Pastor in question (the newer one) had cast question as to whether Walt---believing what he does, and being my husband, was fit for any church leadership---i…e…leading his Bible study that contains some of the church members.

This same Bible study moved from the church grounds to the home of a friend, who is a member of the church board.

Walt (being a man of conscience) felt it incumbent upon him to tell this friend (in brief) about the meeting with the Pastor.

The friend said…in short ,that it made no difference to him what the Pastor said or how he felt about Walt.

Both of the people I’ve mentioned (who were not pastors) are gentle people. Both of them are people whom Walt and I have loved and prayed for and attempted to be encouraging to,

in the past.

Until this happened, I never would have expected these seeds to bare fruit in such a beautiful and fragrant way.

It is in this moment, that I wish to thank Dikki-Jo Mullen, my long-time friend, for being there when I needed a kind word, so desperately.

Also, I wish to thank the host of the Bible Study

that Walt facilitates, Keith.

For the same reason.

Until next time,

Wash your hands,

Wear your mask,

And don’t give up the faith.

-Kim Danbert