RED Friday-A Christmas Witness




This morning began painfully early for me.

As many mornings (during the holiday season) this

one was helplessly hostile.

I had forgotten to go and get my blood work done for my

endocrinologist, and my appointment was this morning at 9:00.

I rolled out of bed. After some morning ablutions,I dressed in

the same clothes I had taken off the night before (a ritual vaguely

reminiscent of my twenties, when I partied--some).

After coming out into the living room, I grumbled "hello" to my husband

(a morning person who is up every morning at 4:30).

I remembered that I wanted a book on tape for the ride to the lab.

Yes, I am the only human being in Florida with an actual cassette player

in my car. This time of year I like to listen to "Skipping Christmas".

When my search fell vacant, I sniped at my husband about a box of

books on tape, which-unknown to me, sent him into a panic, as he had just taken

such a box to our church garage sale.

I barked at him again "Just forget it!" . I went back into our computer room and gave another cursory look for the yuletide tapes, only this time I found them.

Without coffee or kiss, I mounted my Ford Taurus in the thick morning fog, after

pressing tape 1 into the deck, and made my way to the Gateway facility MIMA Lab.

Closing my car door behind me (at the building) with Luther Krank's admonition "I hope you step in a frozen puddle" jingling in my ears, I made my way to the doors

of the facility.

I checked the time on my cell phone, fifteen minutes to go before the doors open, and it's 61 degrees (and damp) outside. I hadn't grabbed a jacket on the way out, in my

surly egress from the house. I crossed my arms tightly against me, determined to tough it out.

A man walked up after, and said casually "Doors aren't open, yet?". I gave him a slightly more scrutinizing look and said "Apparently not, otherwise, I probably would not be standing out here." He (good naturedly) laughed at himself. "Yeah---here's your sign" (an allusion to comic Bill Engvall, whom I enjoy). Despite myself, I smiled at him.

As we were standing there, more people walked up, two women behind me, then two more men. All shiveringly silent.

I turned and looked at them, and with my typical a-plumb, I broke the silence.

"When I'm at the hospital, in an elevator, I usually have this urge to start a sing-a-long".

Everyone laughed. Not politely, but genuinely. One woman dressed in a beautiful red blouse ( not unlike the one I had donned for the mission) said "Go for it".

Apologetically, I said it was too early for singing "even for me".

Then the slender, elegant woman just behind me, mentioned the shopping on black friday. The woman in the red blouse contributed that she had gone to Walmart and their were palates out in front of the store when she walked in. She had asked the store employees what everyone was lined up for, and the employee had told her "bed sheets".

I remember thinking (and saying) "Those must have been some sheets".

One man offered that it's "Pearl Harbor day" and he came back this morning because there were 53 people online at the lab yesterday. The next man offered "Well this is like RED Friday" (an allusion to the blood drawing about to ensue).

I looked at everyone, standing online at a medical lab-at near-six in the morning and found myself thinking "What would Jesus do?"

My perceptive mind thought "Well, Jesus, would probably have raised his hands and healed them all so they wouldn't have to engage in this appalling ritual ever again".

I admonished myself "Well that's off the table for me."

Then a short detour to "What would my Pastor do?" My Pastor is a lovely and aereodyte man who is prodigiously proud of his mobile-Coachman- home- vehicle. He would most likely regale the growing group with tails of his travels.

So, left to my own devises, I engaged in introducing myself to the group assembled.

I shook hands and said "I'm Kim" and gathered names.

The woman in the red blouse was named "Vivian". When I told her that I thought her blouse was beautiful, she smiled and said "I have an office Christmas party today".

All the people seemed pleased and slightly amused at my activity of introducing myself and shaking hands.

I added to my introduction "I will be later referred to as "Patient number # 1 by the lab".

It sort of broke the tension of anticipation.

As the round of "what did you do on Black Friday" came to me, I mentioned that we did that "once". "My husband, who is 6'8" oddly, never gets a cart rolled over him or people running into him" (I offered--I'm sure they thought I was telling a story).

As the security guard (finally) unlocked the door, we all paced in, and I got my assigned number for "service", Nolan (the "here's your sign, guy") said "see it didn't start at #1, there's 300 people in front of us!" We laughed and joked and sat in chairs, as Vivian (sitting down next to me) tried to take my ticket, playfully.

It wasn't long before my number was called. Why is it, when we're at the lab, waiting for someone to take our blood, that we react as though we've won the lotto when our number is called?

My lab tech, Nancy was friendly, efficient, and kind. Even though it took two sticks to get all the blood she needed, she apologized for bruising me. Giving me tape that matched my Christmas ball red top (for both arms) .

As I left, I waved at the patients still in chairs and called out "Merry Christmas" and received the same in return..from, I think, most of them.

One of the older men caught me as I was leaving and said "What is your belief system?" (as I looked at him, I thought, "here's someone who's been stung by the Political Correctness insect, at some point). I said "I'm a Christian, sir." , giving him as soft a smile as my caffeine- jones would allow.

He offered "You seem very happy---for a Christian." (I waved and left).

Driving home, I thought I would write on my experience with RED-Friday.

As Kyle (of South Park fame) might intone, I think I've learned something, today.

I've learned that Christians can be Merry at Christmas, even in 61 degree weather

waiting for the lab to open.

I've learned that people outside my church social circle, are not nearly as fright-some

as I've feared.

Let this be a lesson to one and all. Christians aren't grumpy at Christmas (unless they are at home---sorry Walt.).



Merry Christmas to all.