Happy New Year, to all of us!

This morning I was doing my usual routines. Brush teeth, brew coffee, turned on TV to Good Morning America and check my email. So far 2010 doesn’t seem a lot different from the previous 5 years.
Then I swiveled to pick up my coffee and saw a wonderful picture of my mom.
Then I remembered. This is the first year that I begin without my mom.
I found myself saying (in my head) “Dear Mom, it’s 2010.”
So I began this letter:
Dear Mom,
It’s 2010. Good Morning America has a new group of hosts (except for Robin). Charlie Gibson is retiring and Diane Sawyer is taking his place. Ju-Ju Chang and George Stephanopolis are taking Diane and Chris’ places.
The day is rainy and I’m remembering how you and I both love (d) rainy days.
I’ll spend the day making black-eyed peas and a new dish, stir-fry cabbage (trying to build a lot of “wealth karma” for this year). Maybe THIS year it will work.
The truth is, mom, I’m missing you. Not in the way I’ve missed you so far.
I think of you coming out of the master bedroom with that bright smile and those bright eyes, opening the back shades, and proclaiming to the kittens “Good morning, honey!”
I’m remembering you saying how good the coffee brewing smells, and walking into the living room to talk about the latest story on GMA.
I miss telling you about the menu for the day and you telling me that sounds “delicious”.
I just miss you.
But in a brighter way.
Not in the grainy painful memories of your last gasping moments. Or in the memories of you being so small and sick in a hospital bed in your room.
The better memories are starting to come now.
So it’s with a grateful heart, I tell you, mom,
I think 2010 is going to be different for me.
Our family does and will miss you.
But I can now remember the person that you were, instead of the illness that overcame you.
I think that is, (as my daughter-in-law Shayna calls it) “Evidence of Grace”.
Maybe I would call it, “Evidence of Lois”.
I love you, mom.
--Kim


Until next time:
Eat something wonderful
And live a life worth loving.
---Kim