For the Love of Vintage Tarot Decks

 

For the Love of Vintage Tarot Deck(s)

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive. But the Skin Horse only smiled.

"The Boy's Uncle made me Real," he said. "That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."

-From The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams

 

I have always loved this passage from this children’s book. I’m not sure I completely took it inside of my soul, until this weekend. –Just a note—this is longer blog.

 

Also I visit Facebook Marketplace, I haven’t bought anything from the listings…before this past weekend. I sent the typical quarry (fully expecting a “no”) “Is this still available?

I received a “yes, it’s still available”.

A collection of Tarot Books and Tarot decks (about 11 decks) available from a seller who lived “near me” (near me, being in Titusville).

My brain started racing. Do I have the cash available? Asked her if she was “firm” in the price. I mentioned there were a couple decks with which I was not familiar.

She sent me some pics. I checked my resources and had the requested amount.

I was a little reticent because of the “less than comprehensive” answers I was receiving. But I made arrangements to meet with Suzanne (her name was) to me in the parkinglot of the IHOP off the I-95 exit for Titusville.

We arrived before she did, and  suddenly had the worry that I was going to be discovered by the police. Because of the cash in hand, I was worried someone would see the exchange and we would be detained on the grounds (the abscent police) would suspect us of making a drug connection.

When she arrived, she was (exactly) as her picture depicted. Almost 6 ft tall, with platinum hair, and a lovely smile.

She had mentioned that these belonged to her mother and she wanted to sell it as a complete collection.

We made the exchange.

When I got them home (and dumped them onto my bed) I set to the task of making sure (first) that all the cards are in each deck.

One of the decks that I particularly wanted The Zerner Farber Tarot Deck. I had the deck (previously) and now have an incomplete deck and…this deck is no longer in print.

When I came upon the (coveted) deck, the box looked like this:

 

Pushing down my (extreme) dislike of “tuck boxes”, I also tried to hold my optimism that all the cards were there, given the look of the box.

That all sort of fell to hell, when, after I took them out of the box and saw the statis of the cards. Some were upside down (I don’t read reversals). Some were backwards  front-to-back, All of them worn at the corners, many with creases. I was certain not “all of the cards” were there and bolstered myself for disappointment.

As I sorted them into suits, I began to develop appreciation for this deck.

The guidebook said published in 1997.

These cards were (obviously) well loved and well used.

At the end of the sorting and putting the cards in order,

 I realized that all the cards were present and accounted for.

I found myself stunned. Then, my stunned feeling dissolved

 in to a reflective pool of gratitude.

 Felt some presences of spirit with me, as I was visitng with these cards.

One of them, my spirit guide Andrew.

He told me to look at these cards and let that wash over me.

In a moment similar to Rafiki encouraging Simba “Look harder!”

Andrew helped me to see that there are many stories to be told in these vintage cards.

The influence of this (lovely—and I thought, slightly confused) woman who owned this deck was going to remain and guide me in my future works with this deck.

I loved the feel of the soft edges of this well-loved deck. I loved the muffled sounds

 as the cards clapped together. I even appreciated the creases and softly worn corners.

There were several “gems” that I found in the offerings from Suzi this weekend.

I learned that I have 3 new friends. One, a wonderful woman who lives in Titusville. One, a woman in spirit, who might visit me, as I am the conservator of her Tarot collection.  One, a vintage deck, who is pre-loved and embodies for me what it means to be “Real”.

 

Until next time,

Eat something wonderful,

And live a life worth loving.

-Kim Danbert

www.kimdanbert.com