The second rejection in a month....well actually
third. Some of you know my work with
Bible Journaling, and in the journey, I thought I had made a friend.
As is my way, I told this person at the very beginning of
this journey together "I need to tell you something, because some people
in the Christian community don't agree with what I do. I am a professional
psychic. If you don't agree with that or feel threatened by that, it's fine.
Please tell me before we proceed with our relationship."
A cursory read of this email (I know it was cursory,
because I watched her read it) prompted her to say "we're cool".
In the weeks, maybe months following, we spent scads of
time together, Bible Journaling and even planning to team-teach a class
together.
She told me many things about her life. Her hopes, her
disappointments involving a church she had served.
I listened intently, because...I guess, I thought that
was what friends did.
Prior to all this coming up with the (former) Pastor, she
let it slip that she wished I "didn't do what I do" (professionally)
but she "knew my heart" so we were "good".
When all of this came up with my church/(former) Pastor,
she was a bit undone.
She told me she didn't agree with "how the Pastor
did what she did" and she didn't see any "love in that".
She proceeded to tell me why "they" felt the
way they did, from a Biblical point of view.
I did counter, as I am a student of the Bible as well.
During our time together she asked me to do things for
her. I do some computer graphics, so did that, asked me to print off (no small
amount) of sheets on my color laser printer for her Bible Study. Never invited
me to the study, however.
Because our tithe was wanting, Walt and I purchased a
craft case for her, because she has some physical issues and she was mentioning
that she needed one.
Because she was without a printer, we lent her a black
laser printer so she could print out her class materials and Walt went over and
connected it up for her and tested it.
I honestly can't believe how often this happens, but
recently, whilst Bible journaling together, she told me that someone dear to
her had my gifts. She told me how "accurate" this person was with her
perceptions. She told me that she and other family members went to see the film
Sixth Sense, and that the gifted one said "this is my world".
Thinking (wrongly-apparently) this is an opening, I
mentioned the film The Shack. There is a scene where all kinds of colors coming
from these souls of people , populate a field. I told her that was "my
world" as I see auras.
That was met with the commentary "That sounds
New-Agey to me".
We finished our jounaling with little more back and
forth.
Most recently, I find myself shunned by this
"friend" for whom I have felt fondness and spent kindness.
Our standing appointment on Monday's came and went
without comment, and when I mentioned (in text) "I guess we're not Bible
Journaling this morning". I was told she'd over-slept. Later in the week,
when I touched base, I received clipped and generalized commentary about how
she had caught up on her rest.
I finally said to her that it was apparent to me that she
(and others) in the Bible Journaling group were uncomfortable with me."
and I would no longer attend.
No answer back.
..actually a day later, still no answer back.
But a few moments from the time the text went to her, she
posted this on her facebook page:
“Keep my commands in your heart, for
they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity... Do not be
wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to
your body and nourishment to your bones...."PROV. 3:1-10 (NIV)
Actually, I'm wondering, well pretty convinced that I am
the "evil" being shunned.
I imagine (in my mind) that she prayed to God asking,
that if it is "not His will that we are friends, that (I) be removed from
her life". My response to the
"shunning" , is apparently her "answer".
I have two other
friends, in my life. One I have known since the 1980's She is an artist, with an exquisite soul. We
just recently reconnected (after 23 years. We were jubilant to see one another
and are keeping in touch. She is supportive of my "psychic/spiritual"
works and creative works alike.
She is not (by the strictest definition) a Christian. Early
in our relationship, she told me harrowing stories of being a nun in the
Sisters of Mercy order, in which power and politics (not the love of Jesus or
humanity) was primary motivating factor among her fellow "sisters".
But even after 23 years apart, she opened her arms and heart wide to receive me
into her life. I think that's a friend.
Another friend of mine was a Methodist in her early life.
She had a terrible experience involving the death of her brother. Believing she
was still on the rolls of the church, when he was in the hospital, she called
and requested a visit from the Pastor. There was no response and she was
broken-hearted. There are other problems that she has had involving Christian
people in her life and now, she asserts that they are mostly hypocrites (she
always inserts-"except you and Walt"). I thought, since Walt and I
joined the church , five years ago, that Tammy was somehow "mistaken"
about what happened and that the bitterness was masking the true path of her
spiritual journey.
But I am unsure, now.
Tammy has confessed that the only reason she has a
relationship with God is because of (the wittness) Walt and me. I pray (for her
sake) that is not completely true, because Walt and I are deeply flawed and
imperfect people.
But when all these things came up about the (former)
Pastor and Bible Journaling companions, Tammy's reaction was vehement and
completely perplexed.
"I don't understand. How can these people call
themselves Christians".
She told me that any time I needed to talk (day or night)
to call her. She offered to Bible Journal with me, even though she lives 9
hours away. She asked me to help her with her faith plan.
Something the (former) Pastor, who received several
thousand $'s of our tithe money didn't offer to do ("If you need to talk,
I'm here").
At least 4 hours per week of my time and attention for
many weeks has been devoted to Bible Journaling with this friend (?).
Many many more hours and resources devoted to our works
in the church and the church members.
-sighs-
But I have two more people to tell you about. People who
are friends and I didn't really recognize it.
When all this came up about the conversation with the
(former) Pastor, I wanted to "hear a friendly voice" and I called my
friend Chris. He managers the Book & Bead store where I do psychic fairs
and teach classes. He is one of those people that (I think) is sort of the
"salt of the earth".: very pragmatic and direct in his communication.
He's a sensitive soul, although, I don't think he thinks
of himself that way.
I told him (in short) what had happened. Without
hesitation he told me that he thought the Pastor had done me a favor. "If
that is the way they are going to treat you, then they don't deserve you."
He, then proceeded to tell me his story of the Methodist church.
Several weeks later, in touching base with him, he was
compassionate prompting me to tell him that we (Walt and I) love him and without
hesitation and offered his love in return.
The last person that I would mention is the instructor of
the Bible Journaling class I took this spring. She was very sweet during the
class and encouraged a lot of experimentation for the Bible Journaling. She
(unselfishly) shared the Bible pages from her two journaling Bibles. She showed
us her supplies. She showed us her Bible Journaling tote. She is a sweet and
gentle woman. I thought she might lack some self-confidence, and she didn't
teach the class the way I might have. But she really had an amazing impact on
me. But we don't chat online. I "like" her Bible pages when she posts
them (and she, usually, in return). All of this backlash involving the church
and being un-friended by one Bible Journaling companion and being treated as
ungodly by another has caused me to withdraw from the Bible Journaling group
which meets (usually bi-weekly) and the facebook page which is it's hub. I told
this instructor about having to withdraw and why. As she also attends this same
evangelical church, I , sort of, expected the same judgment as I have (thus
far) received.
From her, I received no judgment and only compassion. She
was sorry I felt unwelcomed and she would welcome me into any of her classes or
events. She would pray that I find some new Bible Journaling companions.
(?)
I pray God blesses her mightily for this response.
Because I was cast aside
and she gave me compassion and included me.
I pray God blesses my friend, Jackie, who is an artist
and a magnificent soul.
Because she has tried to bring the splendor of spirit to
the world, through the vision of her paintings.
I pray God blesses Tammy, who, in the midst of despair,
saw a light in me.
And I pray God blesses Walt, a man, who stands by his
wife.
Until next time,
eat something delicious
and live a life worth loving.
